Last night i lost my phone battery from playing DDR with my little sister. Today I woke up missing the girl i haven’t talked to in hours. I log on to Facebook and decided to message her not knowing that she was already on, we start to talk. One message after another, it seems to go downhill. From telling her i missed her, to her saying let’s cam, and me saying i guess. This is where it takes a turn for the worse. One thing led to another and it ends with a stupid bye. Now i’m laying here in bed not wanting to get up. I have this emptiness in my chest. It’s hard to breathe, and my yawns mask the tears that slowly drip out of my eyes. My stomach is in pain from not eating yet, and the irritating silence around me gets to me. Guess she went out cuz she still hasn’t replied back to me. Funny how depression hit me hard. But can i really call this depression when this happens almost all the time, just not as bad. I think it’d be more like i have a stupid attitude, and i blame myself for it getting this way. Haha i find it funny how i used to think people who cut themselves are stupid, and i wanna be there for them, but now i feel like doing the same…just to numb the pain. “just for awhile huh…?” at least if i do, i can get up and go have fun with my family, and friends. but idk… no one is on here to comfort me. why am i waiting for someone to reach out to me on here when no one cares wat i write. This is officially the worst 4th of July. bye guys and have fun without me.
This is his lil sis Vanessa(: He forgot to log out of his tumblr so i jst decided to post something up *cough cough*. Well we stayed up til 5 this morning playing guitar hero world tour (it was super fun). We each took turns to play guitar, bass nd sing our hearts out. Weeeeell, wen it came to his turn to sing..lets jst say he wasn’t very good at it xD but none of rly cared bcuz he tried his best nd didn’t care wat he sounded lke (: anyways he’s way better on the guitar than me nd i sing way better than him. But yeah, he’s a pretty cool, funny nd weird bro tht i love <3 kay byeeee! LOL
Bearing the pain in my left hand is beginning to take it’s toll. every movent feels like i’m lifting the world. I wonder if i’m gonna be able to break today. I don’t have Advil, so i guess if i do i’ll just have to fight through it.
Practice was awesome today. A lot of people showed up. I feel bad for not getting Richard though… Dx
So let’s see, having an adrenaline rush made my left hand feel like nothing. The heavy breathing, the warm sweet that rolled down my back. It was the best feeling i had in awhile. Haven’t been texting Melissa that much. Sometimes our texts are just one word answers. I just don’t think she feels for me the same way she used too. Actually I know she doesn’t. IDK…I’ll try my best to make it work.